The preschool and kindergarten classrooms are full of tantrums and BIG feelings—meltdowns over a broken cracker, tears at drop-off, or frustration when sharing toys. Young children (ages 3-6) are still learning emotional regulation, so they often express big emotions through tantrums, hitting, or shutting down. The good news? As a parent, you can gently guide them to recognize, name, and handle those feelings in healthier ways. These simple, everyday strategies build emotional skills that last a lifetime.

1. Help Your Little One Name and Spot Their Feelings

Preschoolers and kindergartners need help putting words to what’s bubbling inside. When they can say “I’m mad” instead of throwing blocks, emotions feel less scary.

• – Talk about feelings every day — Use simple phrases like “You look really upset right now” or “I see you’re excited—your eyes are sparkling!” During calm moments, say: “It’s okay to feel angry. Everyone feels angry sometimes.” This normalizes big emotions and reduces shame.

• – Point out feelings in books, shows, and real life — Read stories together and pause to ask: “How do you think the character feels? Sad? Mad?” Great preschool-friendly books include: These make learning emotions feel like play, not a lesson.
  • + The Color Monster by Anna Llenas (helps kids “see” emotions with colors)
  • + When Sophie Gets Angry—Really, Really Angry by Molly Bang (perfect for anger)
  • + The Way I Feel by Janan Cain (simple words for all feelings)
  • + Grumpy Monkey by Suzanne Lang (fun take on grumpy days)
• – Use easy feeling words — Start with happy, sad, mad, scared. Then add frustrated, excited, or worried. Label what you see: “Your face is red and your hands are fists—you seem frustrated!”

2. Show Empathy and Validate Their Feelings (Even When It’s Hard!)

When a tantrum hits, your calm presence is magic. Validation helps preschoolers feel understood, so they calm faster and learn feelings are safe.

Avoid quick fixes like “Stop crying” or “It’s not a big deal”—those can make kids feel their emotions are “wrong.” Instead, pause, breathe, and connect:

• – “I see you’re super upset because we have to leave the playground. It’s hard to stop fun things!”
• – “That toy break made you sad. It’s okay to feel sad—I’m right here with you.”

Hug if they want it, stay close, and remind them: “Big feelings come and go like clouds—they won’t last forever.” Your empathy teaches them it’s safe to feel everything.

3. Teach Simple Coping Skills During Calm Times (Not During Tantrums!)

Trying to teach breathing during a full tantrum? It usually doesn’t work—young brains are in “fight or flight” mode. Practice these fun tools when everyone’s happy:

• – Model it yourself — Say out loud: “I’m feeling frustrated, so I’m going to take three big belly breaths.” Kids copy what they see!
• – Fun, easy tools for ages 3-6:
• • + Balloon breathing: Pretend to blow up a balloon in your tummy—slow in through nose, out through mouth.
  • + Hug a stuffed animal or squeeze hands tight then release.
  • + Count slowly to 5 or sing a silly calming song like “If You’re Happy and You Know It” (add “take a deep breath” verse).
  • + “Safe space” corner with soft toys for a quick break.

Practice during playtime so it becomes automatic. Praise effort: “Wow, you took a deep breath—that helped you calm down!”

Questions or Concerns? Give Us A Call!

You’re already an amazing guide just by staying patient and connected. These small steps help preschoolers and kindergartners build emotional regulation, leading to fewer tantrums and more confident kids.

If big emotions feel overwhelming or frequent—or you want personalized tips for your child—our team at Chicago Therapeutic Children’s Academy is here to help. Check out the rest of website to learn more about our state of the art Academy or Call us today at 773-780-3003 — we support all feelings, big and small!

Learn more about Behavior Therapy by checking out our Parent company: Chicago Pediatric Therapy & Wellness Center. The two of us work together and have the same mission; to be the leader in the Chicagoland area in providing the latest, evidenced-based, and family-centered therapeutic services to children in order to help them and their families reach their maximum potential.